Perfectly Imperfect
by Odji
Summary: Grell muses on the reasons why he loves William after making a life-changing decision.


AN: Goodness this fic gave me a headache to write. I almost trashed it, but after some encouragement I finally finished it. Next fic should come a bit easier XD Anyways, I hope you all like it!

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Perfectly Imperfect

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Even at his worst, William was perfect.

At least, he was in Grell's mind. Even the flaws he DID possess only served to make the reaper fall further in love with him.

The red head stared at the note in his hands, thinking back to all of the reasons that led him to write it. It all came down to the simple fact that the raven haired man was perfect, even in the moments he was not. What a confusing, wonderful thing.

His William was strong and reliable, using precision and cold commands to keep the reapers under his control from acting out. He could easily keep Grell in line and on task, something that no one before him had been able to do.

Unfortunately, the dark haired man was also a workaholic as well as a perfectionist, the exact opposite of Grell and the cause of most of their arguments. Work sat above all for William, and he would meticulously and tediously go over each and every paper he dealt with, picking the document apart for any flaws. The man would not leave for the night until everything in his office was in its proper place, all papers filed away, and all work was complete.

Grell smiled to himself as he placed the note on William's desk, along with a form. Yes, even the flaws that his handsome boss possessed were perfect. He really was the ideal reaper, following the rules to a tee and enforcing them with his subordinates.

Oh, William had many, many flaws. And Grell loved them all.

William couldn't cook to save his life. It was a well known fact among the association, especially after the man had nearly burned down the library while trying to cook soup in the break room. He had been banned from cooking at work after that incident.

Of course, Grell had immediately jumped at the opportunity presented to him. The very next day, he had begun bringing boxed lunches into work for his boss, leaving them on his desk every morning. He couldn't allow his darling William to go hungry, after all!

And every once in a while, Grell found that he could even talk the raven haired man into coming over for dinner with the promise of a home cooked meal and a bit of wine. Those nights were his favorite, and he would do his best to cook to perfection. Candles would be lit, the wine chilled, and a four course meal served to the stoic man. The atmosphere was always relaxed and comfortable, no mentions of work.

It felt just perfect. Like a wife cooking for her husband after he had worked a long day.

But the next day would come, and things would go back to the way they were, if not be a bit worse. William was always toughest on the days following one of their dinner dates, critical of everything the red head did or said.

Grell found that his boss often took out his frustration on him, especially on these days. Any normal reaper would have run after seeing an irritable William T. Spears approaching, but Grell would stay and accept the bitter words and stinging remarks. He liked to think that his boss knew he was strong, and could handle it. It made it easier.

Green eyes darted around the empty office. William had left for the day, but it had been easy enough to break into the dark haired man's office. His overtime had been spent well, learning to pick locks and exploring the library during the night. Footsteps passed by the closed door, most likely a reaper from the next shift heading out to collect souls. Ignoring the sound, Grell turned his attention to William's desk, allowing his fingers to drift over the wooden top.

A wry smile found its way to his lips as a memory passed through his head. Though his boss appeared to be stoic and calm, Grell knew that there was a hint of playfulness inside the dark haired man. William loved to challenge the red head, whither it was his actions or his thoughts, it didn't matter. A few months ago, he fondly recalled teasing the other reaper, pinching him and messing up his desk after getting upset over a sarcastic comment from his handsome boss.

William had retaliated by striking out with his scythe, but Grell had been quick and knocked it away. The red head hadn't been expecting the raven haired man to leap over the desk and give chase though. Shocked, Grell had turned to run only to dash into William's closed office door.

'Yes, William laughed for the first time I can remember on that day.' Grell thought o himself with a soft smile. It had been covered his a hand, muffled to the best of his abilities, but his darling boss had laughed. Grell felt like a fool, but he had never been happier.

Of course, the handsome man had denied anything of the sort when questioned about it.

"But I guess that really doesn't matter. By this time next week, I'll be far from this place." The red head whispered.

Ninety years was far too long to chase after any man, even for Grell. He so desperately wanted someone to come home to during the long, cold nights, but no matter how long and hard he looked he could never find anyone to hold him tight. Not while his thoughts focused on William.

The red head was far from sane, that was a fact. But he couldn't bring himself to wait any longer. The thoughts of his boss made his heart sing with joy and ache with rejection at the same time. So he had made the hard decision to leave, to transfer out of London and get away from the man who had haunted his dreams for almost a century.

Because when it came down to it, William was perfect, and Grell knew he could never be good enough. He was too flawed.

On William's desk sat his transfer request as well as a note explaining everything to the raven haired reaper. Honest and heartfelt words all explained the situation to his boss. It would be best in the end for them both if Grell left. William would be free from the unwanted affection, and the insubordinate reaper would have a chance to recover the heart he had once given to his boss.

Making his way to William's door, Grell knew he had made the right decision.

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_My darling Will,_

_The form on your desk is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I think in the end you'll find that it is for the best. It's taken me ninety years to finally understand that as much as I may love you, the feeling simply isn't mutual. I need to get over you, but I feel as though I'll never be able to unless I leave. Best of luck in the future, William-dearest._

_I love you,_

_Grell_

William T. Spears sat down heavily at his desk, laying the note down atop the paperwork that Grell had left for him before burying his face in his hand. He shook his head, trying to shake away the pounding headache that had crept up on him so suddenly. It didn't help, and the dark haired man turned his attention back to the paperwork that had been awaiting him this morning.

Transfer papers.

Grell had left him a written request for transfer to another branch, and had marked that he was prepared to leave immediately. As if that hadn't been enough to shock the normally stoic man, the accompanying note had completed the process quite well. The confession of love, though not new, had solidified the fact that Grell was indeed serious about leaving.

The thought made William want to vomit.

Never in his ninety years of working alongside the flamboyant reaper had the raven haired man considered the fact that Grell might choose to leave. He was in no position to deny the red head, but how could he allow the other man to leave? It would be selfish and unprofessional.

It was a fell kept secret that for nearly as long as Grell had been professing his love for his handsome supervisor, the dark haired man had found himself slowly falling in love with the other man. But life was never simple, and neither was dealing with his feelings regarding his insubordinate co-worker.

Over the years, Grell had proved time and time again that his emotions were fickle, often changing on a whim. That knowledge, along with the fact that William was in a position of power over the red head, had made him hesitate. There was no telling how long anyone could hold the red head's attention, and although his affection for his boss had remained the only constant over the years, there were no guarantees for tomorrow.

The raven haired reaper had convinced himself that although he longed for more, he could be content living alongside the other man. He would protect Grell from himself, guide him, and silently support him from afar.

He had never expected this, though.

With a deep sigh, William ignored the anxious feeling swirling in the pit of his stomach as he picked up his pen. He knew what he had to do.

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Grell's angry screech resounded along the walls of the Library as he marched down the hallway, a paper clenched in his hands. His co-workers turn and stared, many darting out of the way, but the temperamental red head ignored them all. He had bigger fish to fry.

Namely, William T. Spears.

Grell had entered the Library only moments before, heart heavy and head hanging low, ready to head back home and pack his personal items in preparation to transfer. When he had gotten to his desk, however, he had been shocked to find his original paperwork resting on his desk with the word 'Rejected' sprawled across the page in bright red ink.

Normally, Grell would be tickled pink that his boss had selected that particular color to write in, but given the situation, he found himself overwhelmed with anger. It had nearly broken his heart to break into William's office to leave him the damn transfer request, and it had been rejected?

Oh no, not if Grell had anything to say about it.

Determined and frustrated, the red headed reaper made his way to his boss's office, not bothering to knock before he threw the door open and walked inside. William sat at his desk, not even bothering to acknowledge the smaller man as he entered, or to even look surprised by the interruption. Gritting his teeth, Grell stepped forward to the desk and slammed his hands down hard, determined to get William's attention.

The crumpled paperwork now lay atop William's own, and Grell gestured towards it with a snarl as his eyes met his boss's own calm gaze.

"What is this?" The red head said, face only inches away from the other man's own.

Grell watched as William calmly set down his pen before threading his fingers together and resting his hands on the desk. The angry reaper clenched his fist, barely restraining himself from striking the dark haired man.

"That appears to be a rejected transfer request." The raven haired man acknowledged in a steady voice, seeming unaffected by the close proximity of the irate reaper before him.

His nails dug into the palm of his hand, and the red head was sure they were drawing blood, even through his leather gloves.

"And why was it rejected, you idiot?" Grell bit out, fingers itching to wrap themselves around the other man's strong neck.

"Because I do not feel that transferring is an appropriate solution to your issues." Came the level headed response.

A slender arm swung along his boss's desk as the red head felt his temper snap. It just wasn't fair, it wasn't right for William to force him to stay when all the red head wanted to do was leave. His request was not unreasonable, and he couldn't help but want to strike the stoic man across the face for denying him.

Grell stood tall as he waited for his boss to answer, watching as William adjusted his glasses before standing. Circling the desk, the dark haired man approached the temperamental red head, and the smaller man couldn't help but feel confused. Unwilling to back away, the red head swallowed hard, watching as his handsome boss stopped only a foot away from him.

"You have no right to turn my request down, William T. Spears. You have no reasons to." Grell snapped, ignoring the burn of tears behind his eyes. "Put my paper through." The red head demanded, his gave holding the taller man's own.

"No." William replied softly.

A loud slap sounded and the room fell into silence. Grell's mouth fell open as he stared at the red blotch marring the other man's pale cheek, ignoring the burning tingle in his own hand. The dark haired man stood silently, reaching up to adjust his glassed that had been knocked astray. The hand drifted down to his reddened cheek next, and Grell resisted the urge to scream.

Even now as Grell struck out, William was the picture of patience as he stood before the red head. It was the most wonderfully infuriating thing, and it made the smaller man want to scream in frustration and kiss the raven haired reaper until he gave a response. Even anger was preferred over the stoic responses he was graced with.

"Tell me why." Grell said coldly, emotionally exhausted and feeling defeated.

"I love you."

Grell felt his heart stop for the second time in his long existence as he absorbed the words that he had given up hearing, his eyes wide in disbelief. The red head felt his anger swirl inside him again.

"Fuck you! How dare you, HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME NOW? Do you think it's funny, William?" Grell snapped as he shoved his boss away from him, ignoring the surprised look he was given. "After nearly a century of waiting around for you, you decide that the right moment to tell me you love me back is the moment I decide I've had enough?"

"I was content to live beside you, as a relationship would not be appropriate for two people in our positions. However, you've managed to find a way to mess even that up." William said, and Grell was pleased to hear a hint of irritation slip into the man's voice.

Strong arms came out to pull the red head forward towards his boss's chest, and the smaller man struck out again, swatting the hands away and shoving his supervisor backwards again. Persistently, William moved forward yet again, arms outstretched. Grell gritted his teeth and swatted at the man again, only to have his arms captured, drawn forward against his boss's warm chest.

The red head struggled for a moment, desperate to pull away from the tender embrace, but gave in a moment later. Arms let his free, instead moving to encircle his waist and hold him close. Lying his head against William's chest, Grell swallowed hard before speaking again.

"Will, do you mean it?"

"Yes." William said solemnly, his voice grumbling deeply inside his chest.

Grell listened to the taller man's heart beating against his ear, entranced by the rapid flutter as he lay against the dark haired man's chest. But a confession of love was not enough. That couldn't change the current situation.

"I need more. Can you give me more, Will?" Grell questioned as he pulled away to look up at his handsome boss. "I can't keep living like this, it's all or nothing."

A hand pulled away from his waist, moving to touch the underside of the red head's chin, skimming along his neck as it moved. A shiver moved through his body at the intimate touch, and Grell felt his cheeks darken with a blush.

"I'm not good at these kinds of things. I'm socially awkward, and cold to those around me. But somehow you managed to see through that and even to wait for me for ninety years. I'm aware of my flaws, and I apologize that they have impacted you in such a negative way. I have had my own reasons to hesitate, but if it costs me someone so dear to me then I will hesitate no longer." William said as he stared into Grell's eyes. "Don't leave me. We can work out the details later tonight over dinner."

Grell felt a grin fix itself on his lips at the sweet words he had long ago given up hope of hearing. Giving a coy look, the red head gave a wink before teasing his boss.

"Mr. Spears, are you asking me out on a date?" The reaper giggled as he squirmed in the larger man's arms.

"I am." Came the firm reply, followed by a slight nod.

Wrapping his arms around the neck of his supervisor and pulled him down, crushing their lips together roughly. He had been waiting so long, too long… But late was better than never, and William's lips were as sweet as sin.

As William pulled away, Grell found himself giggling at the slightly flushed face of his boss, lust and love swirling in the dark haired man's acidic green eyes. As the red head was once again pulled against other man's chest, he heard a whisper in his ear.

"I know I'm not perfect, but I love you Grell Sutcliff."

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AN: Fluffy fic is fluffy. The end. Read and review lovelies!


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